Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Happy New Year

Emma is going out to a party tonight she tells me it has something to do with this being the last day of 2008. Apparently people like to look back over the year counting up their achievements and making promises to do something even better next year. It all sounds a bit odd to me. Admittedly I have plenty of achievements to look back on (Starring in a film, two television appearances, nine radio interviews, featuring in seven newspaper / magazine articles and worldwide exposure on the Internet, all that on top of being a single parent family) but what's Emma got to look back on? I suppose in her defense it will be easy to do something better next year.

Now that's going to be a real problem for me!


Friday, 19 December 2008

The V.E.T. Returns!

Thank you Tam for your offer to join our sponsored feast. We have replied to you in the comment section underneath the Charity Events article. I hope you are not too disappointed!

The man with the limp came back again today. (If you don’t remember him then you can read our October 07 article). I don’t know why Emma invites him when he just attacks us. He was on to Berry as well this time! And he even brought a friend (another V.E.T.!) along to ‘watch the show’.

He tried to put this funny jelly on our tummies and Berry stupidly let him! But I wasn’t having any of that. Not after him poking me with pins last time. So I made a tiny itsy bitsy little bit of a fuss. Not much - I only wanted him to stop it. So I bucked and I growled and I howled and I thrashed about and I tried to bite him. And I think I got the message across.

Apparently he was trying to see if there was anything in our tummies. Why on earth would we want anything (apart from food of course) in our tummies? At one point when he had this jelly stuff on Berry’s tummy, he and his friend squealed about being able to ‘see something’. How long does it take them to realise that if you open your eyes, you can see stuff? Emma’s mum said that they thought they could see something inside Berry’s tummy, but that’s just stupid; how could they possibly see through all that flab?

When the V.E.T.s went Emma’s mum told me off for misbehaving and being ‘a baby’. Well how would she like it if he went about attacking her? Then, she went and gave Berry extra rations for having something inside her. I insisted that I had something inside me too, but because I wouldn’t stay still for the V.E.T. he hadn’t been able to tell if there was anything in my tummy or not. So I had to go without the extra food.

What sort of ‘something’ in Berry’s tummy is important enough to get her extra rations anyway? She’s fat enough as it is!


Monday, 8 December 2008

Charity Events

We were fed even earlier than usual yesterday. Emma said it was because of a car boot sale her family had a stall at. Apparently Emma's Granddad is doing a walk across the Sinai Desert and up Mount Sinai and Emma and her family are helping to raise money for it. I can't understand why anyone would want to walk across a hot sandy desert where there are no wallows to cool off in and nothing to root up but Emma said her Granddad was doing this to raise money for various cancer charities. Emma has put the details on her website

Emma said people raise money for good causes by doing all sorts of things. For example some people do parachute jumps, or take a bath in baked beans!

We had a bit of a think about all this last night and decided we would like to help too. So we are proposing to do a sponsored feast. We will be paid to eat as much as possible in 24 hours. We haven't told Emma about this idea yet but I'm sure she will be pleased. She will have to provide the food but it will be for a good cause.

We'll let you know when we have sorted it out so you will be able to sponsor us!


Friday, 28 November 2008

Time Wasting

I don't know why it is, but people seem to waste a lot of time doing completely unimportant things.

Take Emma for instance. She spends a huge part of her day at school, supposedly learning 'important things'. Well that's clearly not necessary. She already knows what we like to eat. She knows when to feed us and how much to give us (though she could do with a little more instruction in this area). She is also well educated in housing and accommodation as she regularly tops our arks up with straw. She's even pretty good at tummy tickling and back scratching So what 'important things' could she possibly need to learn at school.

If you think that's crazy then you really won't believe what those mad humans have done now. For no particular reason at all they decided to paint the sky red yesterday evening. Yes red!

Why can't they just snuggle up in their straw when they have finished eating like us intelligent pigs?
Acorn and Berry

Tuesday, 18 November 2008

Beautiful wooden pig arks.

I don't believe it! Not content with feeding other peoples pigs, Emma and her family have now started making beautiful houses for them! Not only are they making standard arks like ours, but they are also making, delivering and assembling palacial farrowing arks.

(Like the one below, being assembled)

It's not fair - why can't I have one?

Emma says I don't need a farrowing ark as I haven't got any piglets. I told her I would have some if it meant I got one of these delux pig arks, but Emma says it is too late now as Peter Lad has gone home.

What's that got to do with it?


Wednesday, 29 October 2008


I think Emma has gone mad. Seriously. You’ll never guess what she’s done. She’s feeding other people’s pigs! No, sadly I’m not joking.
We’ve had some new arrivals recently you see: some more Gingernuts (Tamworths), and some Spotty Hogs (Gloucester Old Spots). So naturally we were asking Emma about them and she said they belonged to other people! She is letting them eat OUR food, snuggle to bed in OUR straw, eat OUR food, root around in OUR grass, eat OUR food, wallow in OUR mud and eat OUR food! And she’s not even their pet!
Acorn asked Emma if we could have extra rations seeing as we have been such great owners, but like the cheeky pet she is she said that judging on the size of our stomachs we didn’t need any more food! It’s a scandal!

Sunday, 12 October 2008

TV fame for the Berkshire Pigs

At last, we got the fame we deserved, we knew they'd come to their senses in the end.

It was very dark when they came, first thing in the morning when we were expecting our breakfast. Then out of the mist came cameras and reporters. It was the BBC Midlands Today crew. They had heard about Us Berkshire Pigs and they wanted to meet us and to film us, so that all the world could see how special we are!

They had a quick tour of the other pigs as well but it was only us the viewers were introduced to. We looked modestly away, but there can be no doubt that everyone thought we were wonderful. Claire and Ben (Emma's sister and brother) even filmed the filming so that all their friends and relations would be able to see us too!
Such excitement could have put us off our breakfast, but like the true professionals we are we munched on!
Acorn and Berry

Thursday, 2 October 2008

I Don't Believe It...!

Sorry we haven't posted a blog recently, but we've both been terribly traumatised by the Country Life article. Not only was the main picture in the article one of the Middle White Pigs, but the only Berkshire Pig featured was Peter Lad who doesn't even belong here. IT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

Emma took some photos of us to put on the blog - but as you can see we couldn't force a smile!

It's only our devoted fans like Demelza who have persuaded us to keep writing on the blog!
Acorn and Berry

Monday, 22 September 2008

Country Life

It's ever so exciting, a photographer from Country Life has been here taking photo's of us pigs (and Emma?). Apparently we are going to star in this weeks Country Life magazine which comes out on Wednesday. I'm a little bit concerned that he didn't seem particularly interested in us Berkshire pigs and spent an equal amount of time with the other breeds. I just hope the Middle Whites don't steal the show again!

This is one of the many photos taken. I think Emma had been in our wallow!

Peter Lad (in this picture) was extremely lucky to be included in the photo shoot as he really isn't one of Emma's pigs at all, he is just visiting. He's a bit smaller than Barky who came to see us in the spring, (which is good as he doesn't pinch so much food) but he's not so Hunky either!

Acorn and Berry

Tuesday, 9 September 2008


Great news, Berry's no longer too fat to be separated from me and Cocoa.

To celebrate her return I chased her round and round snorting loudly and trying to bite her.... well she needed to know that she couldn't just come back and pinch all my food as before.... I'm not letting her get obese again! Emma says that I am the fat one now. OUTRAGEOUS!

Having put us back in together, Emma seemed to think that she'd be able to have a lie in without us noticing. She couldn't be more wrong! Cocoa and I got up early to make sure Berry didn't pinch our food and then Emma didn't arrive until 10am. That's worse than Grandad!

Emma did have a pretty good excuse though. It has rained so much here recently that the road was flooded.
Emma, Claire and Ben had to canoe through the floods to get here!

We'll let her off - just this once!

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Emma's Holiday

I don't know what the world is coming to, Emma decided that she needed a break and disappeared off with her family.

We don't get holiday's you know!

What's more she left the most important job of feeding us to her Grandad, and sometimes he overslept 'til 9am!

I was really cross with her and thought of sulking and going off my food, but then I had a much better idea. I tipped my really heavy Belfast sink trough right over. I had never managed this before as it really is very heavy. (Grandad will confirm that as it took him ages to put it back again and refill it with water!)

The next day one of the All Sorts managed to dig out of her pen, so I really enjoyed watching Grandad get her back in again and reinforce the fencing. For a complete novice he did quite well really.

After that we pretended to be starving and shrieked for our food twice as loudly as normal. I don't now whether it was the noise or Grandad's desire to make us all too fat to escape again, but we got lots of extra tit bits!

Just before Emma returned we got a postcard from her, telling us to behave or she would put us on a diet. We've been angelic since then so I think we'll get a good report.


Tuesday, 19 August 2008

British Saddleback Pigs

Hello, my name's Babe. I am the smallest of all Berry's Piglets but that also makes me the cutest! Mummy said if I gave her all my dinner she would let me put a posting on the blog so I readily agreed, as I really wanted to tell you all about my news. I thought my brothers and sisters would be jealous but they just shook their heads and said something like "No wonder she's the smallest!"

Anyway the first thing I want to tell you about is Auntie Acorn. She's no longer all by herself in a paddock, one of the 'Little Scraps' has joined her. The not so little Scrap is called Cocoa and Emma says one day she and Acorn will have piglets like Mummy. Acorn says she's quite happy being an Auntie and she doesn't want to share her dinner with lots of piglets, but Emma hopes she will change her mind.

The other thing I wanted to tell you about was the 'All Sorts'. These pigs have been with us for ages but Mummy and Auntie Acorn keep forgetting to tell you about them. They are stripy pigs (Like licorice All Sorts according to Emma) and they have floppy ears like the Plum Puddings. Apparently their real name is British Saddleback Pigs but Mummy says this is a rather grand title for these odd looking animals.

I must go now. Mummy's just gone to lie down in the Ark and that means only one thing - Milk Time. I may be happy to miss my dinner once in a while, but I'm not missing my milk!



Monday, 11 August 2008

Recognition at last

I told Berry she needn't worry about the Middle Whites and I was right. It was us Radio 4 wanted to talk to! Unfortunately Emma kept talking over my grunts, but if you click on the attached video you should be able to hear me and Berry. (Just try not to get too distracted by Emma's ramblings!)


Friday, 1 August 2008

Open Day Controversy

Its Outrageous!!!! We go to all this effort to arrange an open day so that you can all come and see Me, Acorn and my celebrity offspring , (graciously allowing some of the other rare breeds to share the attention) and what do you do? You go all soppy over the Middle Whites!!! "They're so cute" "I love their little squashed noses" "Don't they make a weird noise?" To top it all, the quiz winner (Alison Wibmer) named them as her favourite rare breed. Has the world gone mad? It is only people like Demelza who give me hope for the future by appreciating our superior status. (see her comment underneath the "Little Berrys" article).

Talk about Hogging the Limelight!
Emma says she has put a full report on her website so if you want to read all about it you'd better go there I'm too disgusted to say anymore!


Tuesday, 22 July 2008

The Eco Pigs

The last two weeks have been really hectic. So much has happened that I think we'll have to tell you bits in installments! It all started with Berry's piglets and finished with our open day but the thing I'm going to tell you about at the moment is our attempt to reduce our carbon footprint.

According to Emma we need to go green in order to reduce our footprints. I'm not sure why we need smaller footprints but Emma seems to think this will stop us getting too hot! It all seems very muddled to me but when Emma has one of her mad ideas there's no point in arguing.

Anyway a few days after Emma had told me about the importance of being green some new "Green" piglets arrived. The funny thing is they seem to get sunburnt more than the rest of us, so I really don't think Emma's theory can work.
Apparently they're called Middle Whites but we call them the Eco Pigs.

The Babes

Hello and thank you to all those people who left messages of congratulations on the birth of my piglets. For the record all the piglets are called "Babe" and yes they do have different characteristics. Generally the biggest ones are the bossiest and the smaller ones are less pushy. All of them have sharp teeth already and are starting to pinch my food. Like most babies they're sweetest when they're asleep.

Must go now, I'm tired out. I'll leave Acorn to tell you all our other news.

Wednesday, 9 July 2008

Little Berrys

You’ll never guess what happened today. I was munching away happily as usual, whilst pondering over a bathe in my wallow, when a small black thing came up to my fence.
Being a friendly sort of pig (nosy Berry calls it!) I decided to go and check it out. It appeared to be a miniature Berry, with sticky up ears, black fur, a curly tail, a white blaze and white socks.

I realised at once that Emma must have shrunk Berry because Berry was too fat. (Though I have to say I think she over did it!)

None the less I was pleased, I would be able to share a run with her again. It was only when I spotted the real Berry drinking away at her water bowl, with five more miniature Berrys scurrying in and out of her feet, that I discovered the truth ….

She hadn’t shrunk … she’d just multiplied six times!!!

Emma said that Berry couldn’t come back in with me yet, as all of the little Berrys would have to come too, and there wouldn’t be room for all of us in the ark. I was very disappointed, but the little Berrys promised that they’d squeeze through the fence some time and come and visit me.

That will be nice.


Monday, 30 June 2008

Chicken in Charge

Whilst Acorn is moping and Berry is eating I thought I'd come on here and tell you the 'need-to-know' facts. It seems to me that while the pigs have been chatting to you, you seem to have forgotten who the real heroes are ... let me explain ...

My name is Rusty and I am spokes-cockerel for the chickens. This is obviously because I am the handsomest, fiercest, and most importantly superior to all the others due to being a male. We, as chickens, have a very important role in the family business. It is my responsibility to awaken our pets (Emma and family) every morning so that they do not oversleep and forget to feed us and the greedy pigs (a travesty which would not be forgotten easily). Also the others produce eggs to keep our pets in a good healthy condition, so that they can continue to happily run Emma's Pigs. I feel that we do a tip top job, and (of course) if it wasn't for me the poor pigs would starve to death. Why isn't it called 'Rusty's Pigs'?

So you see, really I single-handedly run Rusty's Pigs and am jolly good at it. Please leave me a comment, or maybe a congratulations on how superb I am at this whole enterprise thing.

Thank you for listening, you were a spiffing audience.
Must go, my chariot awaits, can't disappoint the fans now can we?

Rusty - The Chicken in Charge

Monday, 23 June 2008

Fed up!

I'm not very happy with Emma. Yesterday she let me and Berry into a nice new pen with lots of lush green grass to dig up. But then, just before bed time she enticed Berry into a separate pen of her own. We can see each other through the fence but we have our own arks. I was really cross with Emma and refused to eat my dinner, but Berry didn't seem to mind.

Emma said it was for the best as Berry has been getting very fat recently and needed a space of her own.

I just hope Emma's puting her on a diet so we can fit in the same ark again soon.


Sunday, 15 June 2008

Open Day - 19th July 3pm

Emma has just told us that she is organising a special day when anyone who wants to can come and see us.

This promises to be a fun packed afternoon, which should also raise some money for charity.
Included in the ticket price will be:

  • a tractor ride to meet and stroke all of us pigs, (hopefully some very young piglets too-I'm not sure where they're coming from!);

  • a captivating culinary experience with local chef Nick Bryan

  • an opportunity to Pig Out (excuse the pun) on our own mouth watering pork rolls and sausages. (I think that's some sort of food)

  • A glass of wine or fruit juice

  • a pig based quiz with a family BBQ pack as a prize (I think that's some sort of food too.)

Tickets cost £5.50 per adult, £3.50 per child and £15 for a family of 4. Please buy tickets in advance as places/food will be limited. Profits on the above will be donated to The Heartlung Transplant Fund (Charity Number 121138)
Telephone 01981 500294 for tickets

I really hope you can make it as I would love to meet you too.


Saturday, 7 June 2008

The Ginger Nuts

I really am beginning to wonder about the other breeds of pigs. We've only just educated the Plum puddings about eating their food, when Emma gets some other pigs, who would rather have their tummies tickled than be fed!!

Are these breeds pigs at all, or are they just curly tailed ant eaters?

Take a look at this:




Look they're lying in their food!

We call them the Ginger Nuts (Emphasis on the Nuts) , but they call themselves Tamworths.


Saturday, 31 May 2008

The theraputic value of food

Thank you to all the people who have left us comments recently, it has been great to hear from you all. One message particularly touched us, it was from Fidget (a cat) who had undergone a particularly unpleasant experience - see his comment posted under the "Contact Us" article. We have discussed your predicament Fidget and think you must have been attacked by a Vet! Unfortunately once the attack has taken place there is little you can do to reverse its effects. The Kune Kune piglet in this picture had a very similar experience and his advice is as follows.

1. Don't let a vet catch you in the first place.

2. Bite him if he does.

3. If all else fails, food is a great comforter!
Oh and a bit of news of our own. The Plum Puddings have discovered the merits of food and no longer lie down in their trough.
What clever piggies!
Acorn and Berry

Wednesday, 28 May 2008

The Plum Puddings

I always knew that Berkshire pigs were the most superior of all the rare breed pigs (there used to be a large herd at Windsor Castle you know), but I never knew quite how dim some of the other breeds were!

Yesterday some Oxford Sandy and Black pigs arrived. They are really odd looking things with their ears flopped down over their faces so they can barely see where they are going. But that's no excuse for what they did....!

A pig that does not recognise food, when it is put right infront of it, is not just dim it needs therapy! Well these 'Plum Puddings' thought their food trough (with food in it) was a wallow! Yes - really. Instead of eating their food they lay down in it and rolled over.

What a waste, all that delicious grub rubbed into their spotty coats. If they didn't want it they could have given it to me.


Friday, 16 May 2008

Little people are odd!

Hi Richard, Marmalade and Demelza it was great to hear from you. I'm sorry you don't get out much Marmalade, but sometimes I think there are certain people who should never be let out!

Take our most recent visitors, Emma's cousins. These little people had sadly never seen a real pig before so were very excited about coming to see us. But would you believe it the thing that they liked best was not our big ears, or curly tails, or even our beautiful faces - It was our Wallow! They could not keep their hands iut of it (encouraged I might add by Emma's big sister Claire!)

They decorated each others faces with our squelchy mud, wiped their hands on their spotless clothes and even decorated the Little Scraps ark with muddy hand prints!

Little people are very different from big people it seems. Their parents were not at all delighted with the wallow. In fact their faces changed from expressions of polite interest to those of abject horror as the day went on!


Wednesday, 7 May 2008

Meet the neighbours

Thanks for your comments Joe, we will certainly keep blogging.

Some of our neighbours have been getting a bit jealous of my recent fame and fortune following my starring role in A Pig's Life. Well not so much of the fortune, I haven't noticed any change in my rations ... yet!

I offered them my autograph but that has done nothing to appease them. They say they would rather a face full of flies, but I know that's only envy talking. Acorn says perhaps it would help if we put some photos of them on the blog. I can't imagine that you will be interested in seeing them, but in the spirit of fostering good community links here goes.

I do hope they don't get too full of themselves, some people can be so big headed you know.


Friday, 2 May 2008

Contact us

We have been getting a bit of a complex about our blog recently....why has no-one been leaving messages, don't they feel comfortable writing to pigs? Emma assures us that loads of people have been reading our blog so why don't they write back?

Then we discovered that Emma had set the blog up wrong! I think we should let her IT teacher know about this, he's predicted that she'll get an A* at GCSE!

Anyway she's sorted it now (or so she says)! All you have to do is click on comments (below)and then write your message in the box provided. If you don't have a blogger account then tick the name box instead and type your name in. If you're really shy you can select anonymous. If you don't want your comments to appear on the blog at all you can even send us an email on

Look forward to hearing from you,

Acorn and Berry

Wednesday, 30 April 2008

Barky's gone home

Barky went home a few days ago and Berry made a terrible fuss about it. Emma fed us in separate stalls so I couldn't really see what was going on, but one minute I was chomping away quietly and the next Berry had jumped the partition and was trying to get into the trailer with Barky! Emma said a word I had never heard before and her Dad said it several more times. (Her Mum said that was quite enough of that - so I don't think we'll hear it again!)

After all the teasing that I've had to endure about being in "Luv" it seems that Berry had fallen for Barky after all.

Emma says she's not so sure about that, she thinks it had more to do with the fact that she was shaking the food bucket noisily inside the trailer.

I told Berry we would get more food each now that Barky has gone, but I was wrong, Emma's just not putting so much down!

I miss him a bit, he was a great hot water bottle at night. Emma says he might come back and visit again another day. I hope so.


Saturday, 26 April 2008

Film Star

I always knew I was going to be a super star and I was right. I have the starring role in the film of the year "A Pig's Life". I expect I'll get nominated for an Oscar! Acorn says to tell you she was in it too (though to be honest she was only an extra!).

I must go now and start composing my acceptance speach


Sunday, 13 April 2008

Four noisy little scraps

My ears are ringing with never ending squeals. I don't know how their lungs have the capacity to make such a noise. They're worse than Berry at feeding time - and that's saying something!

My Mum said boars were only good for one thing and that was producing piglets, but I didn't know it happened this quickly! Barky only came a five weeks ago and the piglets have come already!

We went to bed last night and all was quiet, (except for Barky snoring) and we were woken this morning by a total raucous from four noisy little scraps. I can't hear myself think.

They seem friendly enough, nattering away to us happily, but they seem unable not to screech everything at the top of their voices. They also eat our food - I thought piglets were supposed to drink milk!

I'm very confused.


Sunday, 2 March 2008

Acorn's in Love

They obviously think we can't manage the ploughing on our own, so they've gone and brought in another pig to help us. His name's 'Barky' and he's twice the size of us. Fat I call it, but Acorn says he's 'hunky' - yuk - she's gone completely soppy over him!

He's useless at ploughing too. Spends all his time following Acorn round nudging her and she's so twittervated she barely notices meal times! He does though and he's really bossy. I'm going to waste away if he stays very long.

Emma says I'll get to like him, but I don't think it's very likely.

Wednesday, 23 January 2008

Slave Labour

It's not easy being a pig you know. We don't just lie in our Arks all day, there are always chores to be done. If we're not constructing a wallow we're testing the fencing for weak areas and if we're not doing that we're ploughing. As soon as we finish ploughing one patch we are invariably moved to another green paddock and have to start all over again. No rest for us!

(See this picture of a half ploughed patch.

Not bad eh?)

Today, however we were called upon to do the fencing. Not only did I have to carry the rope, but I had to prop Emma up as well!
Before long we'll be expected to make our own dinner! Now that's an idea......!