Happy New Year

Emma is going out to a party tonight she tells me it has something to do with this being the last day of 2008. Apparently people like to look back over the year counting up their achievements and making promises to do something even better next year. It all sounds a bit odd to me. Admittedly I have plenty of achievements to look back on (Starring in a film, two television appearances, nine radio interviews, featuring in seven newspaper / magazine articles and worldwide exposure on the Internet, all that on top of being a single parent family) but what's Emma got to look back on? I suppose in her defense it will be easy to do something better next year.

Now that's going to be a real problem for me!

Berry

The V.E.T. Returns!

Thank you Tam for your offer to join our sponsored feast. We have replied to you in the comment section underneath the Charity Events article. I hope you are not too disappointed!

The man with the limp came back again today. (If you don’t remember him then you can read our October 07 article). I don’t know why Emma invites him when he just attacks us. He was on to Berry as well this time! And he even brought a friend (another V.E.T.!) along to ‘watch the show’.

He tried to put this funny jelly on our tummies and Berry stupidly let him! But I wasn’t having any of that. Not after him poking me with pins last time. So I made a tiny itsy bitsy little bit of a fuss. Not much - I only wanted him to stop it. So I bucked and I growled and I howled and I thrashed about and I tried to bite him. And I think I got the message across.

Apparently he was trying to see if there was anything in our tummies. Why on earth would we want anything (apart from food of course) in our tummies? At one point when he had this jelly stuff on Berry’s tummy, he and his friend squealed about being able to ‘see something’. How long does it take them to realise that if you open your eyes, you can see stuff? Emma’s mum said that they thought they could see something inside Berry’s tummy, but that’s just stupid; how could they possibly see through all that flab?

When the V.E.T.s went Emma’s mum told me off for misbehaving and being ‘a baby’. Well how would she like it if he went about attacking her? Then, she went and gave Berry extra rations for having something inside her. I insisted that I had something inside me too, but because I wouldn’t stay still for the V.E.T. he hadn’t been able to tell if there was anything in my tummy or not. So I had to go without the extra food.

What sort of ‘something’ in Berry’s tummy is important enough to get her extra rations anyway? She’s fat enough as it is!

Acorn

Charity Events

We were fed even earlier than usual yesterday. Emma said it was because of a car boot sale her family had a stall at. Apparently Emma's Granddad is doing a walk across the Sinai Desert and up Mount Sinai and Emma and her family are helping to raise money for it. I can't understand why anyone would want to walk across a hot sandy desert where there are no wallows to cool off in and nothing to root up but Emma said her Granddad was doing this to raise money for various cancer charities. Emma has put the details on her website www.emmaspigs.co.uk/CharityEvents.shtml

Emma said people raise money for good causes by doing all sorts of things. For example some people do parachute jumps, or take a bath in baked beans!

We had a bit of a think about all this last night and decided we would like to help too. So we are proposing to do a sponsored feast. We will be paid to eat as much as possible in 24 hours. We haven't told Emma about this idea yet but I'm sure she will be pleased. She will have to provide the food but it will be for a good cause.

We'll let you know when we have sorted it out so you will be able to sponsor us!

Acorn

Time Wasting

I don't know why it is, but people seem to waste a lot of time doing completely unimportant things.

Take Emma for instance. She spends a huge part of her day at school, supposedly learning 'important things'. Well that's clearly not necessary. She already knows what we like to eat. She knows when to feed us and how much to give us (though she could do with a little more instruction in this area). She is also well educated in housing and accommodation as she regularly tops our arks up with straw. She's even pretty good at tummy tickling and back scratching So what 'important things' could she possibly need to learn at school.

If you think that's crazy then you really won't believe what those mad humans have done now. For no particular reason at all they decided to paint the sky red yesterday evening. Yes red!

Why can't they just snuggle up in their straw when they have finished eating like us intelligent pigs?

Acorn and Berry

Beautiful wooden pig arks.

I don't believe it! Not content with feeding other peoples pigs, Emma and her family have now started making beautiful houses for them! Not only are they making standard arks like ours, but they are also making, delivering and assembling palacial farrowing arks.

(Like the one below, being assembled)

It's not fair - why can't I have one?

Emma says I don't need a farrowing ark as I haven't got any piglets. I told her I would have some if it meant I got one of these delux pig arks, but Emma says it is too late now as Peter Lad has gone home.

What's that got to do with it?

Acorn

Scandal!

I think Emma has gone mad. Seriously. You’ll never guess what she’s done. She’s feeding other people’s pigs! No, sadly I’m not joking.
We’ve had some new arrivals recently you see: some more Gingernuts (Tamworths), and some Spotty Hogs (Gloucester Old Spots). So naturally we were asking Emma about them and she said they belonged to other people! She is letting them eat OUR food, snuggle to bed in OUR straw, eat OUR food, root around in OUR grass, eat OUR food, wallow in OUR mud and eat OUR food! And she’s not even their pet!
Acorn asked Emma if we could have extra rations seeing as we have been such great owners, but like the cheeky pet she is she said that judging on the size of our stomachs we didn’t need any more food! It’s a scandal!
Berry

TV fame for the Berkshire Pigs

At last, we got the fame we deserved, we knew they'd come to their senses in the end.

It was very dark when they came, first thing in the morning when we were expecting our breakfast. Then out of the mist came cameras and reporters. It was the BBC Midlands Today crew. They had heard about Us Berkshire Pigs and they wanted to meet us and to film us, so that all the world could see how special we are!

They had a quick tour of the other pigs as well but it was only us the viewers were introduced to. We looked modestly away, but there can be no doubt that everyone thought we were wonderful. Claire and Ben (Emma's sister and brother) even filmed the filming so that all their friends and relations would be able to see us too!

Such excitement could have put us off our breakfast, but like the true professionals we are we munched on!

Acorn and Berry

I Don't Believe It...!

Sorry we haven't posted a blog recently, but we've both been terribly traumatised by the Country Life article. Not only was the main picture in the article one of the Middle White Pigs, but the only Berkshire Pig featured was Peter Lad who doesn't even belong here. IT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

Emma took some photos of us to put on the blog - but as you can see we couldn't force a smile!

It's only our devoted fans like Demelza who have persuaded us to keep writing on the blog!

Acorn and Berry

Country Life

It's ever so exciting, a photographer from Country Life has been here taking photo's of us pigs (and Emma?). Apparently we are going to star in this weeks Country Life magazine which comes out on Wednesday. I'm a little bit concerned that he didn't seem particularly interested in us Berkshire pigs and spent an equal amount of time with the other breeds. I just hope the Middle Whites don't steal the show again!

This is one of the many photos taken. I think Emma had been in our wallow!

Peter Lad (in this picture) was extremely lucky to be included in the photo shoot as he really isn't one of Emma's pigs at all, he is just visiting. He's a bit smaller than Barky who came to see us in the spring, (which is good as he doesn't pinch so much food) but he's not so Hunky either!

Acorn and Berry

Floods

Great news, Berry's no longer too fat to be separated from me and Cocoa.

To celebrate her return I chased her round and round snorting loudly and trying to bite her.... well she needed to know that she couldn't just come back and pinch all my food as before.... I'm not letting her get obese again! Emma says that I am the fat one now. OUTRAGEOUS!

Having put us back in together, Emma seemed to think that she'd be able to have a lie in without us noticing. She couldn't be more wrong! Cocoa and I got up early to make sure Berry didn't pinch our food and then Emma didn't arrive until 10am. That's worse than Grandad!

Emma did have a pretty good excuse though. It has rained so much here recently that the road was flooded.

Emma, Claire and Ben had to canoe through the floods to get here!

We'll let her off - just this once!

Acorn