Large Blacks indeed!

These little pigs came just before Christmas.

I don't normally mind Emma getting more pigs, as long as they know their place. These pigs, however, are getting on my wick!

'We're Large Blacks' they keep saying as though that's supposed to impress me.

When I treated this coment with the contempt it deserved they went on to say that some chap called Parkinson once said 'They are distinguished by their gigantic size, they are the largest of the kind I have ever seen'.

Well all I can say is he should have gone to Spec Savers. These pigs are not Large Blacks, they are Barely Bigger than a Bucket Blacks!

Berry

2011? - No way!!!

When Emma came to see me this morning, she admired my new born piglets (as they are very beautiful) and then she said "It's 2011 now Acorn".

We'll I know I've had a lot of piglets over the years, but there's no way I've had 2011.

Don't they even teach them how to count at school!

Acorn

Acorn's

Emma has committed a most horrendous crime. With the autumn setting in we have been treated with a feast of acorns, or at least we would have been if she hadn’t gone and stolen them. She took a great big bucket and scooped them all up into it before carrying it away!

Since when did she think they were hers? They’re called ACORNS for a reason.

Acorn

Berry’s Brilliant Guide to a Sunny September

Despite the pouring rain over the last couple of weeks, the first few days of September have been scorching. So, as a kind and generous pig, I came up with a brilliant idea to help you all out – I decided I would write you a five step guide to enjoying the weather while it lasts.

1. Casually role over a large amount of turf with your nose, ensuring you look perfectly relaxed and therefore impressing the others with the great strength of your snout.
2. Once the area has been de-grassed snuffle around in the mud to eat up all of the roots you can find – delicious!
3. The next step is to show off your snout again, digging a great deep trench in the mud, large enough for you to lie down in.
4. After that you have to grunt and oink enough that someone like Emma feels sorry for you and comes and pours lots of black buckets full of water into your hole.
5. You have now made a wallow. Lie down in it and roll over making sure you are completely covered in mud. This is not only extremely pleasant and cooling but also provides the perfect protection from the sun – Emma calls it a piggy sun tan cream, whatever that means.

So there you go, get digging and have fun. Just remember, my snout will always be better than yours.

Berry

Raining Cats and Dogs

I don’t know what’s suddenly happened to the weather, but today it poured it down! Emma said it was raining cats and dogs, but the only cat I’ve seen is the one living in the shed with all our food. (I know cats don’t like pig food, but I’m still not sure I trust her with my dinner!) The rain kept falling and my pen has a massive puddle in it, Gelly’s silly piglets decided to try swimming in theirs, stupid as their mother!

Acorn

Mini Snowballs

I don't believe it, those Middle Whites have both had piglets now. Worse still they're back to worshipping Snowball again. "What beautiful piglets. He's such a good Dad" ... no he's not ... he's galavanting about the country visiting his other girlfriends!

I bet they both believe in fairy tales too!

Berry

Acorn's Family Tree

Hi I’m Kiwi.

While my mum (Acorn) and my aunt (Berry) are squabbling over food, as usual, I thought I’d give you a truthful account of what’s been going on recently – Acorn and Berry are so biased!

…….Berry’s been teasing Acorn over being a Grandpig and Acorn’s been getting a bit upset. To prove she’s still young Acorn’s gone and had some more piglets. It’s outrageous! My piglets’ Uncles and Aunts are younger than them, and my new brothers and sisters are younger than my children!

How would you like that? Our Family Tree is more like a Family Bush!


Kiwi

Granny Acorn

You’ll never guess what?! Acorn is a Granny! I couldn’t believe it either, but Kiwi has had piglets. Acorn is getting old! She doesn’t like it when I say that, because old pigs need less food, or so Emma thinks. She said that it means I’m a GREAT Auntie, but I thought that was obvious. I’m great at everything else, so I don’t see why this would be any exception. Acorn suggested that she needed extra dinner as a celebration, but all she got was some carrot peelings and I ate most of those.

Snowball has finally gone home, but those middle whites are even worse than before, moping and going on and on about how much they miss him, maybe he should come back, just to shut them up!

Anyway, it’s dinner time.

Must go.

Berry

Snowball the Middle White Boar

Those Middle Whites are getting on my wick! All they ever go on about is 'Snowball'.

"Snowball said this" ... "Snowball did that" .. "Isn't he handsome?" Just because he's got a few rosettes they think he's wonderful.

Jimmy (our handsome Berkshire boar) could get rosettes if he wanted to, but he's too macho!

Emma says that Snowball has only come to visit and will be going home soon.

Thank goodness for that!

Berry

Holly's Child Prodigy

We had a visitor yesterday. Well we didn't really, he came to see one of the Little Holly's.... I've no idea why!

She was petted and tickled and had her photograph taken lots of times.

Holly has got all big headed now saying that she has got a child prodigy, whatever that means. I think she's got a podgy child really!

Emma said this man was Owning the Little Holly as a Birthday present (its called an 'Own a Pig Scheme' apparently). I think it's mad everyone knows that it's the pig that owns the person!

Acorn and Berry

Berkshire Pigs on You Tube

Ben's not a bad boy really! I mean he may be a bit slow, but he has at last put a video of Berkshire Piglets on You Tube. Admittedly they're not mine or even Acorn's (they grew up and left home long before Ben got round to making a video), but they are at least Berkshire Pigs. They are called the Little Hollies, on account of their mother being called Holly.

Take a look, they are only one hour old here.

Berry

Lemonade for pigs

Acorn has been so distracted by Ivy pinching her food that she completely forgot to tell you about the freezing cold white stuff which has frequently fallen from the sky and covered up our food. It started just before Christmas and continued for weeks.

In this picture it was not too deep, but it just kept coming!

Not only could we not find our food but our water went hard as well.

Since all the water in our buckets refused to pour into our troughs Emma's Mum decided to get some lemonade for us!

But you won't believe what happened... Emma, Ben and Claire went and drank it all!

Then they filled the bottles with water from their house (where it was still liquid) and we had to drink that instead!

Honestly ... HOW PIGGY!

Berry

Ivy gets more food

Ivy's persistent, I'll give her that.

First she gate crashes my dinner party and pinches my food.

Then she blockades the food store.

And then, when both of those ideas fail she goes for the sympathy vote and has some piglets.

Now at last she has got what she wanted - LOTS MORE FOOD

Acorn

No brain - no pain

Emma has now moved Ivy to her own pad, to stop her from pinching all my food (see picture). She is a really greedy pig, you know. However Emma is getting really cross with Ivy now as she keeps pushing her way through the electric fencing and waiting for Emma at the food store! Emma can't blame me this time!

Ivy thinks she's really tough but I think she's just stupid. That electric fencing stings you if you touch it, so my theory is No brain - No pain!

Acorn

Fatty

Well you'll never guess what happened recently. There I was minding my own business, when Ivy (a really fat Berkshire Pig in the neighbouring pad) crashed her way through the electric fencing and started to push me around! It's OUTRAGEOUS! But more outrageous than that was Emma who accused me of causing this rumpus. So what if I called her FATTY it was true!

I'm the thin one (wasting away) on the left, Ivy is obviously the FAT one!

A very disgruntled Acorn.

Tiger Woods isn't the only one!

Tiger Woods isn't the only one who should be admitting to "transgressions". Take a look at this photo of Damson's piglets. Do they look like pure Saddlebacks to you?

Exactly...shame on you Jimmy!

Acorn and Berry

You Tube video

I'm not very impressed with Emma's brother Ben, what does he think he is doing! I have the most adoreable piglets (and Acorns aren't that bad either), so what does he do? He puts some film of Florrie and her piglets on You Tube. I told him Florrie isn't even a *Berkshire pig (*Beautiful black pigs with a white blaze and white socks), she's a Middle White (check the picture out - the clue is in the name!)

You just wait until I see him. He better bring me a very large (edible) treat to make up for this!

Berry

Feeling queasy!

I had quite a shock the other morning. There I was, minding my own business and digging a particularly large hole to Australia, when one of my piglets squealed. I don't normally take any notice of these noises as they're generally spats over food, but the squeal itself was very eerie. It was quieter than normal and very high pitched. I came up out of my hole to see what was going on and that's when I had the shock of my life....One of my piglets had shrunk! It was less than half the size of the others and not at all happy, as it couldn't reach any of my teats! Feeling a bit queasy, I went into my ark and laid down. The little piglet didn't come in it just sat outside by itself looking lost!

A bit later I was woken by Emma, shaking a bucket to let me know it was dinner time. I was so relieved to find that all my piglets were back to normal, but you'll never guess what... Berry had had some piglets and they really were small. Emma's Mum was cuddling one of them which had somehow managed to get a bit cold but I think they're all doing well now. (Emma has taken a picture to show you. I think the cold one is the one on top of all the others.)

Acorn

Country Life / Waitrose Rural Enterprise Award 2009

It's very exciting, Emma tells me that I am starring in the current Country Life magazine. When I asked her, which of my many achievements I was being commended for she said I had been shortlisted for the Rural Enterprise Award.

I'm not exactly sure what an 'Enter Prize' is but I'm hoping its edible as these are my favourite sort of prizes.

Acorn

You just can't get the staff these days!

I'm really cross with Emma! I know how much all you lovely people have been waiting with bated breath for news of my piglets so (being a bit tired myself) I asked Emma to post details of my beautiful bonny babies onto the blog.

'Yes' she said 'No trouble' she said, and then having spent hours photographing all the piglets she didn't bother to put them on!

Instead she went gallivanting around the country, first taking her big sister Claire off to University in Norwich and then travelling down to Cornwall for a wedding! I don't know, that girl needs to learn to prioritise!

Anyway, if I wait any longer, they will all have grown up and left home, so I am doing the blog myself!

You have to admit they are absolutely gorgeous aren't they?

Acorn