Emma's Pigs

Large Blacks indeed!

2011-02-07T13:56:00.000-08:00

These little pigs came just before Christmas.

I don't normally mind Emma getting more pigs, as long as they know their place. These pigs, however, are getting on my wick!

'We're Large Blacks' they keep saying as though that's supposed to impress me.

When I treated this coment with the contempt it deserved they went on to say that some chap called Parkinson once said 'They are distinguished by their gigantic size, they are the largest of the kind I have ever seen'.

Well all I can say is he should have gone to Spec Savers. These pigs are not Large Blacks, they are Barely Bigger than a Bucket Blacks!

Berry

2011? - No way!!!

2011-01-01T15:14:00.000-08:00

When Emma came to see me this morning, she admired my new born piglets (as they are very beautiful) and then she said "It's 2011 now Acorn".

We'll I know I've had a lot of piglets over the years, but there's no way I've had 2011.

Don't they even teach them how to count at school!

Acorn

Acorn's

2010-10-04T12:39:00.000-07:00

Emma has committed a most horrendous crime. With the autumn setting in we have been treated with a feast of acorns, or at least we would have been if she hadn’t gone and stolen them. She took a great big bucket and scooped them all up into it before carrying it away!

Since when did she think they were hers? They’re called ACORNS for a reason.

Acorn

Berry’s Brilliant Guide to a Sunny September

2010-09-09T03:27:00.000-07:00

Despite the pouring rain over the last couple of weeks, the first few days of September have been scorching. So, as a kind and generous pig, I came up with a brilliant idea to help you all out – I decided I would write you a five step guide to enjoying the weather while it lasts.

1. Casually role over a large amount of turf with your nose, ensuring you look perfectly relaxed and therefore impressing the others with the great strength of your snout.
2. Once the area has been de-grassed snuffle around in the mud to eat up all of the roots you can find – delicious!
3. The next step is to show off your snout again, digging a great deep trench in the mud, large enough for you to lie down in.
4. After that you have to grunt and oink enough that someone like Emma feels sorry for you and comes and pours lots of black buckets full of water into your hole.
5. You have now made a wallow. Lie down in it and roll over making sure you are completely covered in mud. This is not only extremely pleasant and cooling but also provides the perfect protection from the sun – Emma calls it a piggy sun tan cream, whatever that means.

So there you go, get digging and have fun. Just remember, my snout will always be better than yours.

Berry

Raining Cats and Dogs

2010-08-18T10:29:00.000-07:00

I don’t know what’s suddenly happened to the weather, but today it poured it down! Emma said it was raining cats and dogs, but the only cat I’ve seen is the one living in the shed with all our food. (I know cats don’t like pig food, but I’m still not sure I trust her with my dinner!) The rain kept falling and my pen has a massive puddle in it, Gelly’s silly piglets decided to try swimming in theirs, stupid as their mother!

Acorn

Mini Snowballs

2010-07-12T04:51:00.000-07:00

I don't believe it, those Middle Whites have both had piglets now. Worse still they're back to worshipping Snowball again. "What beautiful piglets. He's such a good Dad" ... no he's not ... he's galavanting about the country visiting his other girlfriends!

I bet they both believe in fairy tales too!

Berry

Acorn's Family Tree

2010-06-10T14:34:00.000-07:00

Hi I’m Kiwi.

While my mum (Acorn) and my aunt (Berry) are squabbling over food, as usual, I thought I’d give you a truthful account of what’s been going on recently – Acorn and Berry are so biased!

…….Berry’s been teasing Acorn over being a Grandpig and Acorn’s been getting a bit upset. To prove she’s still young Acorn’s gone and had some more piglets. It’s outrageous! My piglets’ Uncles and Aunts are younger than them, and my new brothers and sisters are younger than my children!

How would you like that? Our Family Tree is more like a Family Bush!

Kiwi

Granny Acorn

2010-04-23T02:28:00.000-07:00

You’ll never guess what?! Acorn is a Granny! I couldn’t believe it either, but Kiwi has had piglets. Acorn is getting old! She doesn’t like it when I say that, because old pigs need less food, or so Emma thinks. She said that it means I’m a GREAT Auntie, but I thought that was obvious. I’m great at everything else, so I don’t see why this would be any exception. Acorn suggested that she needed extra dinner as a celebration, but all she got was some carrot peelings and I ate most of those.

Snowball has finally gone home, but those middle whites are even worse than before, moping and going on and on about how much they miss him, maybe he should come back, just to shut them up!

Anyway, it’s dinner time.

Must go.

Berry

Snowball the Middle White Boar

2010-03-16T04:58:00.000-07:00

Those Middle Whites are getting on my wick! All they ever go on about is 'Snowball'.

"Snowball said this" ... "Snowball did that" .. "Isn't he handsome?" Just because he's got a few rosettes they think he's wonderful.

Jimmy (our handsome Berkshire boar) could get rosettes if he wanted to, but he's too macho!

Emma says that Snowball has only come to visit and will be going home soon.

Thank goodness for that!

Berry

Holly's Child Prodigy

2010-02-21T13:25:00.000-08:00

We had a visitor yesterday. Well we didn't really, he came to see one of the Little Holly's.... I've no idea why!

She was petted and tickled and had her photograph taken lots of times.

Holly has got all big headed now saying that she has got a child prodigy, whatever that means. I think she's got a podgy child really!

Emma said this man was Owning the Little Holly as a Birthday present (its called an 'Own a Pig Scheme' apparently). I think it's mad everyone knows that it's the pig that owns the person!

Acorn and Berry

Berkshire Pigs on You Tube

2010-02-05T02:36:00.000-08:00

Ben's not a bad boy really! I mean he may be a bit slow, but he has at last put a video of Berkshire Piglets on You Tube. Admittedly they're not mine or even Acorn's (they grew up and left home long before Ben got round to making a video), but they are at least Berkshire Pigs. They are called the Little Hollies, on account of their mother being called Holly.

Take a look, they are only one hour old here.

Berry

Lemonade for pigs

2010-01-26T11:46:00.000-08:00

Acorn has been so distracted by Ivy pinching her food that she completely forgot to tell you about the freezing cold white stuff which has frequently fallen from the sky and covered up our food. It started just before Christmas and continued for weeks.

In this picture it was not too deep, but it just kept coming!

Not only could we not find our food but our water went hard as well.

Since all the water in our buckets refused to pour into our troughs Emma's Mum decided to get some lemonade for us!

But you won't believe what happened... Emma, Ben and Claire went and drank it all!

Then they filled the bottles with water from their house (where it was still liquid) and we had to drink that instead!

Honestly ... HOW PIGGY!

Berry

Ivy gets more food

2010-01-03T11:30:00.000-08:00

Ivy's persistent, I'll give her that.

First she gate crashes my dinner party and pinches my food.

Then she blockades the food store.

And then, when both of those ideas fail she goes for the sympathy vote and has some piglets.

Now at last she has got what she wanted - LOTS MORE FOOD

Acorn

No brain - no pain

2010-01-01T09:11:00.000-08:00

Emma has now moved Ivy to her own pad, to stop her from pinching all my food (see picture). She is a really greedy pig, you know. However Emma is getting really cross with Ivy now as she keeps pushing her way through the electric fencing and waiting for Emma at the food store! Emma can't blame me this time!

Ivy thinks she's really tough but I think she's just stupid. That electric fencing stings you if you touch it, so my theory is No brain - No pain!

Acorn

Fatty

2009-12-20T10:59:00.000-08:00

Well you'll never guess what happened recently. There I was minding my own business, when Ivy (a really fat Berkshire Pig in the neighbouring pad) crashed her way through the electric fencing and started to push me around! It's OUTRAGEOUS! But more outrageous than that was Emma who accused me of causing this rumpus. So what if I called her FATTY it was true!

I'm the thin one (wasting away) on the left, Ivy is obviously the FAT one!

A very disgruntled Acorn.

Tiger Woods isn't the only one!

2009-12-11T09:55:00.000-08:00

Tiger Woods isn't the only one who should be admitting to "transgressions". Take a look at this photo of Damson's piglets. Do they look like pure Saddlebacks to you?

Exactly...shame on you Jimmy!

Acorn and Berry

You Tube video

2009-11-26T06:08:00.000-08:00

I'm not very impressed with Emma's brother Ben, what does he think he is doing! I have the most adoreable piglets (and Acorns aren't that bad either), so what does he do? He puts some film of Florrie and her piglets on You Tube. I told him Florrie isn't even a *Berkshire pig (*Beautiful black pigs with a white blaze and white socks), she's a Middle White (check the picture out - the clue is in the name!)

You just wait until I see him. He better bring me a very large (edible) treat to make up for this!

Berry

Feeling queasy!

2009-11-03T13:32:00.000-08:00

I had quite a shock the other morning. There I was, minding my own business and digging a particularly large hole to Australia, when one of my piglets squealed. I don't normally take any notice of these noises as they're generally spats over food, but the squeal itself was very eerie. It was quieter than normal and very high pitched. I came up out of my hole to see what was going on and that's when I had the shock of my life....One of my piglets had shrunk! It was less than half the size of the others and not at all happy, as it couldn't reach any of my teats! Feeling a bit queasy, I went into my ark and laid down. The little piglet didn't come in it just sat outside by itself looking lost!

A bit later I was woken by Emma, shaking a bucket to let me know it was dinner time. I was so relieved to find that all my piglets were back to normal, but you'll never guess what... Berry had had some piglets and they really were small. Emma's Mum was cuddling one of them which had somehow managed to get a bit cold but I think they're all doing well now. (Emma has taken a picture to show you. I think the cold one is the one on top of all the others.)

Acorn

Country Life / Waitrose Rural Enterprise Award 2009

2009-10-13T15:06:00.000-07:00

It's very exciting, Emma tells me that I am starring in the current Country Life magazine. When I asked her, which of my many achievements I was being commended for she said I had been shortlisted for the Rural Enterprise Award.

I'm not exactly sure what an 'Enter Prize' is but I'm hoping its edible as these are my favourite sort of prizes.

Acorn

You just can't get the staff these days!

2009-09-28T06:05:00.000-07:00

I'm really cross with Emma! I know how much all you lovely people have been waiting with bated breath for news of my piglets so (being a bit tired myself) I asked Emma to post details of my beautiful bonny babies onto the blog.

'Yes' she said 'No trouble' she said, and then having spent hours photographing all the piglets she didn't bother to put them on!

Instead she went gallivanting around the country, first taking her big sister Claire off to University in Norwich and then travelling down to Cornwall for a wedding! I don't know, that girl needs to learn to prioritise!

Anyway, if I wait any longer, they will all have grown up and left home, so I am doing the blog myself!

You have to admit they are absolutely gorgeous aren't they?

Acorn

A Horrendous Revelation

2009-09-07T00:51:00.000-07:00

Emma is so selfish. Yes really. Today she announced to us that she is starting Sixth Form, which means that she will get home an hour later than normal. This is a horrendous revelation, as it means that we poor deprived pigs will have to wait a whole hour longer before we get our dinner!

How could Emma be so cruel? Feeding us is, of course, much more important than her education, but for some strange reason she doesn’t seem to appreciate that fact. We tried asking if she could just miss the last hour of Sixth Form, but she wasn’t too impressed by that suggestion.

How are we going to survive?

Emma says I'm hardly losing weight ..... but I think it's touch and go!

Berry

Little White Pigs

2009-08-08T09:09:00.000-07:00

Ha!

Gelato may be getting more food but she will have to share it now!

Acorn and Berry

Fatty White

2009-07-27T03:12:00.000-07:00

While we have been underfed, Acorn noticed that Gelato (the very muddy pig in the picture here) one of the Middle Whites (the ugly ones) was getting really fat! How’s that fair? While Emma was away we were starved and the Middle Whites were given more than their fair share. We are going to have to have words with Emma about her parents.

Also, even though she’s back we haven’t been getting fed any more than usual, despite our pleading and whining and grovelling. And that Gelato is still getting fatter!

Emma says that Gelato will have to be put in her own ark soon, away from the other Middle White called Florentine, because she’s so fat! Somehow I need to get fat so that I can get my own ark and then Acorn and Jimmy can’t steal all my food. Hmmmm…

Berry

Food and Fussing

2009-07-07T06:30:00.000-07:00

Emma went away recently for three days, and so we thought that we would be able to sneakily convince her Mum and Dad into giving us larger portions at mealtimes. However for some strange reason they didn’t believe our helpless starved pleas for food; they seemed to think that we were putting it on!

Also they didn’t pay us nearly as much attention as Emma does, not giving us as many strokes or tummy-tickles – they just threw us our measly rations and then went to go and see the other pigs. I mean, EXCUSE ME! but we are the most important pigs and so should have the most time spent on fussing us – don’t they know that?

Anyway, Emma is back now, which is good; so we are going to look forlorn and malnourished so she thinks we’ve been starved and then will feed us more. We’ve already been getting a lot more attention (see the picture of Emma stroking Acorn’s nose) and hopefully the food will come next!

Acorn and Berry

Jimmy's Farm

2009-06-22T06:56:00.000-07:00

I was horrified to hear Emma and her parents talking yesterday about going to visit Jimmy’s Farm. How come Jimmy gets a farm of his own when Acorn and I don’t? Emma explained that they weren’t talking about Jimmy the boar, but about a man called Jimmy Doherty who owned some rare breed pigs.

It turns out that while visiting the Three Counties Show in Malvern yesterday they came across a stall from Jimmy’s Farm. After talking to a man named Dolly they were invited to go and have a look around Jimmy’s Farm. (See the picture of Emma and her big sister Claire posing with Dolly).

Apparently the whole family is going to go and visit Jimmy’s Farm and meet this Jimmy Doherty person. They seem to think he is some sort of star! To be honest I think they’re wasting their time. Whoever this Jimmy person is he is absolutely nothing compared to me. After all, does he have his very own piggy palace? I think not!

Berry

The Hunk

2009-06-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

Not long after we moved into our new ark, Emma brought another Berkshire to visit us. His name is Jimmy, (apparently he looks quite like Jimmy Doherty whoever he is) and he's a Berkshire like us.

I quite like him though he's very bossy and takes far more than his fair share of the food. Also he's very full of himself. He snorts through the fencing to all the other female pigs and several of them are getting quite excited and snorting back!

When he first came he flirted madly with me and Berry and made us feel special. But now he's chatting everyone else up.... he'll have to go!

Acorn

Piggy Palace

2009-05-09T07:14:00.000-07:00

At last, Emma has kept her promise and given us a brand new ark. It is huge, with plenty of room for me, Berry, Cocoa and a hunky visitor! Emma said it would make a nice farrowing ark as well, but I'm not rushing back into motherhood, I've only just regained my freedom!

While I was busy thanking Emma for this palacial ark....

Berry snuck in and tried to nab the best bed!

Typical!

Acorn

Pig Keeping Course

2009-04-08T12:50:00.000-07:00

We had a really exciting day last Saturday. Lots and lots of people came from all over the country just to see us. Admittedly they also had a look at the other pigs whilst they were here, but that was just to be polite - no doubt!

Emma wasn't here (she and her sister were taking part in some drama competition, which we're pleased to say they won) so her parents had to show the visitors around. They didn't do too bad a job considering, though a little bit more food would have helped us overcome the stress of the day!

Actually we were really worried at one point, as all the visitors crowded round our feed bins and started to examine the contents and to discuss costs and quantities needed. For an awful moment I thought Emma's parents were going to auction our food off, but we created such a racket that they decided to feed it to us instead!

Apparently another group of admirers are coming to see us on the 3rd May, so we will try to extract more food then. If you would like to take part in this event please see our website and look at the Pig Keeping Course page.

Must go now, we need our beauty sleep.

Acorn and Berry

Out Exploring

2009-03-16T06:35:00.000-07:00

Hello my name's Babe and I'm a Little Berry.

I know people think it's a little confusing that all us piglets are called Babe, but it's actually a very sensible system. E.g. Emma's Dad is always calling her by the wrong name. Sometimes he calls her Claire (that's her sister's name) and sometimes he calls her Ben (that's her brother's name!) and sometimes he calls her something else altogether ... Emma won't spell it for me so you'll have to guess! We pigs never have that problem!

Anyway all you need to know about me is that I am the biggest, bravest, and altogether Best Babe.

While the others are playing about, I go off exploring. I have found out how to sneak out of our run (though I do keep scratching myself on the barbed wire!) and I've been visiting all the other pigs. There are some very funny looking pigs here, I can tell you. Some white pigs have really squashed noses and huge ears and they make a very squeaky sound, (They're called Middle Whites). Others are bright orange and have very long noses (Apparently they're called Tamworths) and some even have ears, which flop down over their eyes so they can't see their food. How sad is that!

I must go now as Emma is coming with our food and I will only be able to remain the biggest and the best if I keep eating more than my fair share of the grub.

Bye for now,

Babe

Little Acorns

2009-02-24T02:43:00.000-08:00

Hello, my name's Babe and I'm a little Acorn.

The Little Berry's said that no-one would be interested in listening to anything I had to say as my Mum is not famous like theirs (aparently she's a movie star!) But I think there are lots of things more important than fame.

For one, it is important that you have enough milk and my Mum has plenty of that - look how fat I'm getting.

It's also important that you have other food to eat and my Mum is good at getting that from her pet Emma (though she's not so good at sharing it with me!)

Mum is also good at keeping us all warm. She says she does this by eating plenty herself ...hmmm!

Anyway I think that means that you will be very interested in me as I'm going to grow up to be just as good/fat as Mum.

Babe

Snow!

2009-02-06T01:28:00.000-08:00

It’s been very cold recently and the fluffy flakes are littering our muddy field. The piglets are having great fun chasing each other round in it, and trying to catch the snow in their mouths as it falls. We however have been much more concerned in finding our food! It’s practically impossible with the white blanket covering the ground; the food just sinks in and disappears! Even worse, when we do eventually find some food, the piglets decide they’re hungry and come and eat it! (Yes, they’ve started stealing our food already!!!)

Luckily though, when we’ve finished eating we have a nice warm ark full of lovely straw to snuggle into to warm ourselves up after the cold. Emma says that it shouldn’t be snowing for too much longer, which is good in a way I suppose, but then again when it stops we’ll have nothing to distract the mischievous piglets with! Emma told us that we have to look after them in this cold weather, but I think we’re really the ones that need looking after – if we’re not careful they’ll eat all our food and we’ll starve!

Acorn & Berry

I did have something in my tummy!

2009-01-25T14:43:00.000-08:00

VETS are useless. All because of the man with the limp Berry has been having extra rations while I have been starving... in silence! He said that he saw something inside her tummy, but although my tummy is not nearly as flabby as Berry's he couldn't see anything inside mine (and no it doesn't have anything to do with the fact that I was trying to bite him at the time!)

This is particularly outrageous as it turns out that I did have something inside my tummy - PIGLETS - though how they got there I've no idea. They are beautiful though, don't you think? Much more beautiful than Berry's (yes she had some too.)

See the attached video of my piglets in the ark with me and Emma.

I told Emma that to make up for this grave error she now has to give me double rations, and she is doing - she must be feeling very guilty.

Acorn

Solid Water

2009-01-13T12:44:00.001-08:00

I don't know why but Emma has started giving us solid water to drink. This might not splash on her legs when she carries the bucket over to our trough, but it doesn't quench our thirst either!

The water isn't just solid, it's freezing cold too which creates a most unpleasant feeling inside as the lumps make their way down to our stomachs!

Apparently this solid water is called ice and people like to put it in their drinks when they go out to parties.

I told Emma that I didn't want to be ungrateful but pigs were much more intelligent than people and preferred to eat something more filling than ice. Hopefully Emma will take the hint and give us extra rations tomorrow with a large bucket of wet water to wash it all down!

Acorn

Happy New Year

2008-12-31T09:12:00.000-08:00

Emma is going out to a party tonight she tells me it has something to do with this being the last day of 2008. Apparently people like to look back over the year counting up their achievements and making promises to do something even better next year. It all sounds a bit odd to me. Admittedly I have plenty of achievements to look back on (Starring in a film, two television appearances, nine radio interviews, featuring in seven newspaper / magazine articles and worldwide exposure on the Internet, all that on top of being a single parent family) but what's Emma got to look back on? I suppose in her defense it will be easy to do something better next year.

Now that's going to be a real problem for me!

Berry

The V.E.T. Returns!

2008-12-19T10:34:00.000-08:00

Thank you Tam for your offer to join our sponsored feast. We have replied to you in the comment section underneath the Charity Events article. I hope you are not too disappointed!

The man with the limp came back again today. (If you don’t remember him then you can read our October 07 article). I don’t know why Emma invites him when he just attacks us. He was on to Berry as well this time! And he even brought a friend (another V.E.T.!) along to ‘watch the show’.

He tried to put this funny jelly on our tummies and Berry stupidly let him! But I wasn’t having any of that. Not after him poking me with pins last time. So I made a tiny itsy bitsy little bit of a fuss. Not much - I only wanted him to stop it. So I bucked and I growled and I howled and I thrashed about and I tried to bite him. And I think I got the message across.

Apparently he was trying to see if there was anything in our tummies. Why on earth would we want anything (apart from food of course) in our tummies? At one point when he had this jelly stuff on Berry’s tummy, he and his friend squealed about being able to ‘see something’. How long does it take them to realise that if you open your eyes, you can see stuff? Emma’s mum said that they thought they could see something inside Berry’s tummy, but that’s just stupid; how could they possibly see through all that flab?

When the V.E.T.s went Emma’s mum told me off for misbehaving and being ‘a baby’. Well how would she like it if he went about attacking her? Then, she went and gave Berry extra rations for having something inside her. I insisted that I had something inside me too, but because I wouldn’t stay still for the V.E.T. he hadn’t been able to tell if there was anything in my tummy or not. So I had to go without the extra food.

What sort of ‘something’ in Berry’s tummy is important enough to get her extra rations anyway? She’s fat enough as it is!

Acorn

Charity Events

2008-12-08T05:07:00.000-08:00

We were fed even earlier than usual yesterday. Emma said it was because of a car boot sale her family had a stall at. Apparently Emma's Granddad is doing a walk across the Sinai Desert and up Mount Sinai and Emma and her family are helping to raise money for it. I can't understand why anyone would want to walk across a hot sandy desert where there are no wallows to cool off in and nothing to root up but Emma said her Granddad was doing this to raise money for various cancer charities. Emma has put the details on her website www.emmaspigs.co.uk/CharityEvents.shtml

Emma said people raise money for good causes by doing all sorts of things. For example some people do parachute jumps, or take a bath in baked beans!

We had a bit of a think about all this last night and decided we would like to help too. So we are proposing to do a sponsored feast. We will be paid to eat as much as possible in 24 hours. We haven't told Emma about this idea yet but I'm sure she will be pleased. She will have to provide the food but it will be for a good cause.

We'll let you know when we have sorted it out so you will be able to sponsor us!

Acorn

Time Wasting

2008-11-28T13:56:00.000-08:00

I don't know why it is, but people seem to waste a lot of time doing completely unimportant things.

Take Emma for instance. She spends a huge part of her day at school, supposedly learning 'important things'. Well that's clearly not necessary. She already knows what we like to eat. She knows when to feed us and how much to give us (though she could do with a little more instruction in this area). She is also well educated in housing and accommodation as she regularly tops our arks up with straw. She's even pretty good at tummy tickling and back scratching So what 'important things' could she possibly need to learn at school.

If you think that's crazy then you really won't believe what those mad humans have done now. For no particular reason at all they decided to paint the sky red yesterday evening. Yes red!

Why can't they just snuggle up in their straw when they have finished eating like us intelligent pigs?

Acorn and Berry

Beautiful wooden pig arks.

2008-11-18T00:59:00.000-08:00

I don't believe it! Not content with feeding other peoples pigs, Emma and her family have now started making beautiful houses for them! Not only are they making standard arks like ours, but they are also making, delivering and assembling palacial farrowing arks.

(Like the one below, being assembled)

It's not fair - why can't I have one?

Emma says I don't need a farrowing ark as I haven't got any piglets. I told her I would have some if it meant I got one of these delux pig arks, but Emma says it is too late now as Peter Lad has gone home.

What's that got to do with it?

Acorn

Scandal!

2008-10-29T05:06:00.000-07:00

I think Emma has gone mad. Seriously. You’ll never guess what she’s done. She’s feeding other people’s pigs! No, sadly I’m not joking.
We’ve had some new arrivals recently you see: some more Gingernuts (Tamworths), and some Spotty Hogs (Gloucester Old Spots). So naturally we were asking Emma about them and she said they belonged to other people! She is letting them eat OUR food, snuggle to bed in OUR straw, eat OUR food, root around in OUR grass, eat OUR food, wallow in OUR mud and eat OUR food! And she’s not even their pet!
Acorn asked Emma if we could have extra rations seeing as we have been such great owners, but like the cheeky pet she is she said that judging on the size of our stomachs we didn’t need any more food! It’s a scandal!
Berry

TV fame for the Berkshire Pigs

2008-10-12T14:55:00.000-07:00

At last, we got the fame we deserved, we knew they'd come to their senses in the end.

It was very dark when they came, first thing in the morning when we were expecting our breakfast. Then out of the mist came cameras and reporters. It was the BBC Midlands Today crew. They had heard about Us Berkshire Pigs and they wanted to meet us and to film us, so that all the world could see how special we are!

They had a quick tour of the other pigs as well but it was only us the viewers were introduced to. We looked modestly away, but there can be no doubt that everyone thought we were wonderful. Claire and Ben (Emma's sister and brother) even filmed the filming so that all their friends and relations would be able to see us too!

Such excitement could have put us off our breakfast, but like the true professionals we are we munched on!

Acorn and Berry

I Don't Believe It...!

2008-10-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Sorry we haven't posted a blog recently, but we've both been terribly traumatised by the Country Life article. Not only was the main picture in the article one of the Middle White Pigs, but the only Berkshire Pig featured was Peter Lad who doesn't even belong here. IT'S OUTRAGEOUS!

Emma took some photos of us to put on the blog - but as you can see we couldn't force a smile!

It's only our devoted fans like Demelza who have persuaded us to keep writing on the blog!

Acorn and Berry

Country Life

2008-09-22T07:17:00.000-07:00

It's ever so exciting, a photographer from Country Life has been here taking photo's of us pigs (and Emma?). Apparently we are going to star in this weeks Country Life magazine which comes out on Wednesday. I'm a little bit concerned that he didn't seem particularly interested in us Berkshire pigs and spent an equal amount of time with the other breeds. I just hope the Middle Whites don't steal the show again!

This is one of the many photos taken. I think Emma had been in our wallow!

Peter Lad (in this picture) was extremely lucky to be included in the photo shoot as he really isn't one of Emma's pigs at all, he is just visiting. He's a bit smaller than Barky who came to see us in the spring, (which is good as he doesn't pinch so much food) but he's not so Hunky either!

Acorn and Berry

Floods

2008-09-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

Great news, Berry's no longer too fat to be separated from me and Cocoa.

To celebrate her return I chased her round and round snorting loudly and trying to bite her.... well she needed to know that she couldn't just come back and pinch all my food as before.... I'm not letting her get obese again! Emma says that I am the fat one now. OUTRAGEOUS!

Having put us back in together, Emma seemed to think that she'd be able to have a lie in without us noticing. She couldn't be more wrong! Cocoa and I got up early to make sure Berry didn't pinch our food and then Emma didn't arrive until 10am. That's worse than Grandad!

Emma did have a pretty good excuse though. It has rained so much here recently that the road was flooded.

Emma, Claire and Ben had to canoe through the floods to get here!

We'll let her off - just this once!

Acorn

Emma's Holiday

2008-09-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

I don't know what the world is coming to, Emma decided that she needed a break and disappeared off with her family.

We don't get holiday's you know!

What's more she left the most important job of feeding us to her Grandad, and sometimes he overslept 'til 9am!

I was really cross with her and thought of sulking and going off my food, but then I had a much better idea. I tipped my really heavy Belfast sink trough right over. I had never managed this before as it really is very heavy. (Grandad will confirm that as it took him ages to put it back again and refill it with water!)

The next day one of the All Sorts managed to dig out of her pen, so I really enjoyed watching Grandad get her back in again and reinforce the fencing. For a complete novice he did quite well really.

After that we pretended to be starving and shrieked for our food twice as loudly as normal. I don't now whether it was the noise or Grandad's desire to make us all too fat to escape again, but we got lots of extra tit bits!

Just before Emma returned we got a postcard from her, telling us to behave or she would put us on a diet. We've been angelic since then so I think we'll get a good report.

Berry

British Saddleback Pigs

2008-08-19T13:18:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name's Babe. I am the smallest of all Berry's Piglets but that also makes me the cutest! Mummy said if I gave her all my dinner she would let me put a posting on the blog so I readily agreed, as I really wanted to tell you all about my news. I thought my brothers and sisters would be jealous but they just shook their heads and said something like "No wonder she's the smallest!"

Anyway the first thing I want to tell you about is Auntie Acorn. She's no longer all by herself in a paddock, one of the 'Little Scraps' has joined her. The not so little Scrap is called Cocoa and Emma says one day she and Acorn will have piglets like Mummy. Acorn says she's quite happy being an Auntie and she doesn't want to share her dinner with lots of piglets, but Emma hopes she will change her mind.

The other thing I wanted to tell you about was the 'All Sorts'. These pigs have been with us for ages but Mummy and Auntie Acorn keep forgetting to tell you about them. They are stripy pigs (Like licorice All Sorts according to Emma) and they have floppy ears like the Plum Puddings. Apparently their real name is British Saddleback Pigs but Mummy says this is a rather grand title for these odd looking animals.

I must go now. Mummy's just gone to lie down in the Ark and that means only one thing - Milk Time. I may be happy to miss my dinner once in a while, but I'm not missing my milk!

Bye,

Babe.

Recognition at last

2008-08-11T15:09:00.000-07:00

I told Berry she needn't worry about the Middle Whites and I was right. It was us Radio 4 wanted to talk to! Unfortunately Emma kept talking over my grunts, but if you click on the attached video you should be able to hear me and Berry. (Just try not to get too distracted by Emma's ramblings!)

Acorn

Open Day Controversy

2008-08-01T07:04:00.000-07:00

Its Outrageous!!!! We go to all this effort to arrange an open day so that you can all come and see Me, Acorn and my celebrity offspring , (graciously allowing some of the other rare breeds to share the attention) and what do you do? You go all soppy over the Middle Whites!!! "They're so cute" "I love their little squashed noses" "Don't they make a weird noise?" To top it all, the quiz winner (Alison Wibmer) named them as her favourite rare breed. Has the world gone mad? It is only people like Demelza who give me hope for the future by appreciating our superior status. (see her comment underneath the "Little Berrys" article).

Talk about Hogging the Limelight!

Emma says she has put a full report on her website so if you want to read all about it you'd better go there http://www.emmaspigs.co.uk/OpenDays.shtml I'm too disgusted to say anymore!

Berry

The Eco Pigs

2008-07-22T13:09:00.000-07:00

The last two weeks have been really hectic. So much has happened that I think we'll have to tell you bits in installments! It all started with Berry's piglets and finished with our open day but the thing I'm going to tell you about at the moment is our attempt to reduce our carbon footprint.

According to Emma we need to go green in order to reduce our footprints. I'm not sure why we need smaller footprints but Emma seems to think this will stop us getting too hot! It all seems very muddled to me but when Emma has one of her mad ideas there's no point in arguing.

Anyway a few days after Emma had told me about the importance of being green some new "Green" piglets arrived. The funny thing is they seem to get sunburnt more than the rest of us, so I really don't think Emma's theory can work.

Apparently they're called Middle Whites but we call them the Eco Pigs.

Acorn

The Babes

2008-07-22T12:41:00.000-07:00

Hello and thank you to all those people who left messages of congratulations on the birth of my piglets. For the record all the piglets are called "Babe" and yes they do have different characteristics. Generally the biggest ones are the bossiest and the smaller ones are less pushy. All of them have sharp teeth already and are starting to pinch my food. Like most babies they're sweetest when they're asleep.

Must go now, I'm tired out. I'll leave Acorn to tell you all our other news.

Berry

Little Berrys

2008-07-09T15:14:00.000-07:00

You’ll never guess what happened today. I was munching away happily as usual, whilst pondering over a bathe in my wallow, when a small black thing came up to my fence.
Being a friendly sort of pig (nosy Berry calls it!) I decided to go and check it out. It appeared to be a miniature Berry, with sticky up ears, black fur, a curly tail, a white blaze and white socks.

I realised at once that Emma must have shrunk Berry because Berry was too fat. (Though I have to say I think she over did it!)

None the less I was pleased, I would be able to share a run with her again. It was only when I spotted the real Berry drinking away at her water bowl, with five more miniature Berrys scurrying in and out of her feet, that I discovered the truth ….

She hadn’t shrunk … she’d just multiplied six times!!!

Emma said that Berry couldn’t come back in with me yet, as all of the little Berrys would have to come too, and there wouldn’t be room for all of us in the ark. I was very disappointed, but the little Berrys promised that they’d squeeze through the fence some time and come and visit me.

That will be nice.

Acorn

Chicken in Charge

2008-06-30T06:03:00.000-07:00

Whilst Acorn is moping and Berry is eating I thought I'd come on here and tell you the 'need-to-know' facts. It seems to me that while the pigs have been chatting to you, you seem to have forgotten who the real heroes are ... let me explain ...

My name is Rusty and I am spokes-cockerel for the chickens. This is obviously because I am the handsomest, fiercest, and most importantly superior to all the others due to being a male. We, as chickens, have a very important role in the family business. It is my responsibility to awaken our pets (Emma and family) every morning so that they do not oversleep and forget to feed us and the greedy pigs (a travesty which would not be forgotten easily). Also the others produce eggs to keep our pets in a good healthy condition, so that they can continue to happily run Emma's Pigs. I feel that we do a tip top job, and (of course) if it wasn't for me the poor pigs would starve to death. Why isn't it called 'Rusty's Pigs'?

So you see, really I single-handedly run Rusty's Pigs and am jolly good at it. Please leave me a comment, or maybe a congratulations on how superb I am at this whole enterprise thing.

Thank you for listening, you were a spiffing audience.
Must go, my chariot awaits, can't disappoint the fans now can we?

Rusty - The Chicken in Charge

Fed up!

2008-06-23T01:29:00.000-07:00

I'm not very happy with Emma. Yesterday she let me and Berry into a nice new pen with lots of lush green grass to dig up. But then, just before bed time she enticed Berry into a separate pen of her own. We can see each other through the fence but we have our own arks. I was really cross with Emma and refused to eat my dinner, but Berry didn't seem to mind.

Emma said it was for the best as Berry has been getting very fat recently and needed a space of her own.

I just hope Emma's puting her on a diet so we can fit in the same ark again soon.

Acorn

Open Day - 19th July 3pm

2008-06-15T14:33:00.000-07:00

Emma has just told us that she is organising a special day when anyone who wants to can come and see us.

This promises to be a fun packed afternoon, which should also raise some money for charity.
Included in the ticket price will be:

a tractor ride to meet and stroke all of us pigs, (hopefully some very young piglets too-I'm not sure where they're coming from!);

a captivating culinary experience with local chef Nick Bryan

an opportunity to Pig Out (excuse the pun) on our own mouth watering pork rolls and sausages. (I think that's some sort of food)

A glass of wine or fruit juice

a pig based quiz with a family BBQ pack as a prize (I think that's some sort of food too.)

Tickets cost £5.50 per adult, £3.50 per child and £15 for a family of 4. Please buy tickets in advance as places/food will be limited. Profits on the above will be donated to The Heartlung Transplant Fund (Charity Number 121138)
Telephone 01981 500294 for tickets

I really hope you can make it as I would love to meet you too.

Acorn

The Ginger Nuts

2008-06-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

I really am beginning to wonder about the other breeds of pigs. We've only just educated the Plum puddings about eating their food, when Emma gets some other pigs, who would rather have their tummies tickled than be fed!!

Are these breeds pigs at all, or are they just curly tailed ant eaters?

Take a look at this:

Going

Gone!

Look they're lying in their food!

We call them the Ginger Nuts (Emphasis on the Nuts) , but they call themselves Tamworths.

Berry

The theraputic value of food

2008-05-31T02:47:00.000-07:00

Thank you to all the people who have left us comments recently, it has been great to hear from you all. One message particularly touched us, it was from Fidget (a cat) who had undergone a particularly unpleasant experience - see his comment posted under the "Contact Us" article. We have discussed your predicament Fidget and think you must have been attacked by a Vet! Unfortunately once the attack has taken place there is little you can do to reverse its effects. The Kune Kune piglet in this picture had a very similar experience and his advice is as follows.

1. Don't let a vet catch you in the first place.

2. Bite him if he does.

3. If all else fails, food is a great comforter!

Oh and a bit of news of our own. The Plum Puddings have discovered the merits of food and no longer lie down in their trough.

What clever piggies!

Acorn and Berry

The Plum Puddings

2008-05-28T11:51:00.000-07:00

I always knew that Berkshire pigs were the most superior of all the rare breed pigs (there used to be a large herd at Windsor Castle you know), but I never knew quite how dim some of the other breeds were!

Yesterday some Oxford Sandy and Black pigs arrived. They are really odd looking things with their ears flopped down over their faces so they can barely see where they are going. But that's no excuse for what they did....!

A pig that does not recognise food, when it is put right infront of it, is not just dim it needs therapy! Well these 'Plum Puddings' thought their food trough (with food in it) was a wallow! Yes - really. Instead of eating their food they lay down in it and rolled over.

What a waste, all that delicious grub rubbed into their spotty coats. If they didn't want it they could have given it to me.

Berry

Little people are odd!

2008-05-16T01:36:00.000-07:00

Hi Richard, Marmalade and Demelza it was great to hear from you. I'm sorry you don't get out much Marmalade, but sometimes I think there are certain people who should never be let out!

Take our most recent visitors, Emma's cousins. These little people had sadly never seen a real pig before so were very excited about coming to see us. But would you believe it the thing that they liked best was not our big ears, or curly tails, or even our beautiful faces - It was our Wallow! They could not keep their hands iut of it (encouraged I might add by Emma's big sister Claire!)

They decorated each others faces with our squelchy mud, wiped their hands on their spotless clothes and even decorated the Little Scraps ark with muddy hand prints!

Little people are very different from big people it seems. Their parents were not at all delighted with the wallow. In fact their faces changed from expressions of polite interest to those of abject horror as the day went on!

Acorn

Meet the neighbours

2008-05-07T03:28:00.000-07:00

Thanks for your comments Joe, we will certainly keep blogging.

Some of our neighbours have been getting a bit jealous of my recent fame and fortune following my starring role in A Pig's Life. Well not so much of the fortune, I haven't noticed any change in my rations ... yet!

I offered them my autograph but that has done nothing to appease them. They say they would rather a face full of flies, but I know that's only envy talking. Acorn says perhaps it would help if we put some photos of them on the blog. I can't imagine that you will be interested in seeing them, but in the spirit of fostering good community links here goes.

I do hope they don't get too full of themselves, some people can be so big headed you know.

Berry

Contact us

2008-05-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

We have been getting a bit of a complex about our blog recently....why has no-one been leaving messages, don't they feel comfortable writing to pigs? Emma assures us that loads of people have been reading our blog so why don't they write back?

Then we discovered that Emma had set the blog up wrong! I think we should let her IT teacher know about this, he's predicted that she'll get an A* at GCSE!

Anyway she's sorted it now (or so she says)! All you have to do is click on comments (below)and then write your message in the box provided. If you don't have a blogger account then tick the name box instead and type your name in. If you're really shy you can select anonymous. If you don't want your comments to appear on the blog at all you can even send us an email on sizzlingsolutions@btinternet.com

Look forward to hearing from you,

Acorn and Berry

Barky's gone home

2008-04-30T16:18:00.000-07:00

Barky went home a few days ago and Berry made a terrible fuss about it. Emma fed us in separate stalls so I couldn't really see what was going on, but one minute I was chomping away quietly and the next Berry had jumped the partition and was trying to get into the trailer with Barky! Emma said a word I had never heard before and her Dad said it several more times. (Her Mum said that was quite enough of that - so I don't think we'll hear it again!)

After all the teasing that I've had to endure about being in "Luv" it seems that Berry had fallen for Barky after all.

Emma says she's not so sure about that, she thinks it had more to do with the fact that she was shaking the food bucket noisily inside the trailer.

I told Berry we would get more food each now that Barky has gone, but I was wrong, Emma's just not putting so much down!

I miss him a bit, he was a great hot water bottle at night. Emma says he might come back and visit again another day. I hope so.

Acorn

Film Star

2008-04-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

I always knew I was going to be a super star and I was right. I have the starring role in the film of the year "A Pig's Life". I expect I'll get nominated for an Oscar! Acorn says to tell you she was in it too (though to be honest she was only an extra!).

I must go now and start composing my acceptance speach

Berry

Four noisy little scraps

2008-04-13T05:58:00.000-07:00

My ears are ringing with never ending squeals. I don't know how their lungs have the capacity to make such a noise. They're worse than Berry at feeding time - and that's saying something!

My Mum said boars were only good for one thing and that was producing piglets, but I didn't know it happened this quickly! Barky only came a five weeks ago and the piglets have come already!

We went to bed last night and all was quiet, (except for Barky snoring) and we were woken this morning by a total raucous from four noisy little scraps. I can't hear myself think.

They seem friendly enough, nattering away to us happily, but they seem unable not to screech everything at the top of their voices. They also eat our food - I thought piglets were supposed to drink milk!

I'm very confused.

Acorn

Acorn's in Love

2008-03-02T02:23:00.000-08:00

They obviously think we can't manage the ploughing on our own, so they've gone and brought in another pig to help us. His name's 'Barky' and he's twice the size of us. Fat I call it, but Acorn says he's 'hunky' - yuk - she's gone completely soppy over him!

He's useless at ploughing too. Spends all his time following Acorn round nudging her and she's so twittervated she barely notices meal times! He does though and he's really bossy. I'm going to waste away if he stays very long.

Emma says I'll get to like him, but I don't think it's very likely.

Berry

Slave Labour

2008-01-23T15:12:00.000-08:00

It's not easy being a pig you know. We don't just lie in our Arks all day, there are always chores to be done. If we're not constructing a wallow we're testing the fencing for weak areas and if we're not doing that we're ploughing. As soon as we finish ploughing one patch we are invariably moved to another green paddock and have to start all over again. No rest for us!

(See this picture of a half ploughed patch.

Not bad eh?)

Today, however we were called upon to do the fencing. Not only did I have to carry the rope, but I had to prop Emma up as well!

Before long we'll be expected to make our own dinner! Now that's an idea......!

Acorn

Our Christmas Story

2007-12-25T14:13:00.000-08:00

Today there has been a lot of excitement up at the field. People have been coming and going all day. We've had visitors tripping across the paddock in their high heeled shoes, wrinkling their noses in disgust at the mud on their clothes and then cooing in delight as we accept "Christmas Apples and Bananas" from their hands.

Phrases such as
"Aren't they sweet?"
"They don't smell at all!"
"What enormous ears!"
and
"I love their curly tails"
have all been used.
Those really brave visitors have even scratched the itchiest corners of my back!

When they'd all gone Emma explained that it all had to do with a baby who was born in a stable over 2000 years ago.

What's all that about then? I was born in a stable and no one throws a party for me! Berry thinks that perhaps if I tell you our story then we will get a party.... I suppose it's worth a go!

Long, long ago (last year sometime) we found ourselves in a nice warm stable with lots of brothers and sisters and a ready supply of milk, we called Mum. Days and nights merged into each other until one day Emma came to visit us. We didn't know she was Emma then but she seemed to know us. She pointed at us and said "Those two - they're the ones!" At first I thought she must have seen us tipping the water bowl over (though I checked no-one was looking first), but then Mum was told off for that, so I knew it must be something else.

A week later Emma returned and we were bundled into a trailer. That was the best game ever! First I was pushed in, then when Berry came I ran back out again. Then me, then Berry, then some of our siblings joined in. After a good fifteen minutes and lots of squealing and cursing we decided to accept our prize and settled down in the trailer with a bucket of feed.

We arrived at our new home to find green stuff called grass! We weren't sure about that, so we tried eating it, then tried lying on it and concluded that the best thing to do was to plough it all up! It took several weeks to completely remove all traces of the grass. (Mind you we were small then, we can do a whole paddock in about 1 week now!)

So do we qualify for a party? If not I want to know why.

Acorn

Cold Tootsies

2007-11-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

Got up this morning to discover someone had covered our whole field in cold fluffy white stuff. We've eaten copious quantities of it, but it's not very filling, it just makes our insides cold. Fortunately Emma's now brought some proper food, though it was extremely hard to recognise her wrapped up in hat, scarf and gloves.

Also she gave us a load of fresh straw so as soon as this lot has gone we're off to snuggle down in the warm.

Acorn and Berry

A visit from the V E T

2007-10-19T13:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry we haven't written for a while. It's Acorn she's been unwell - OFF HER FOOD!!! I have to confess , I was really worried (...after eating double helpings and getting indegestion). Emma must have been worried too as she asked this strange man to come and have a look at her. He took out this sharp pin and stuck it in her, but don't worry I bit him on the bottom before he could do it again. He said something about returning with a cattle prod, whatever that meant.

We sarted to see quite a bit of this man. After a few days Acorn got up and staggered around the field so he couldn't spike her anymore. He limped round after her and I have to say if that spike is supposed to make you better he should have stuck it in his own neck as he looked quite out of condition to me!

He's stopped coming now but Acorn is a crafty one she gets given treats everyday with something called medicine hidden inside. I think she made this whole illness thing up. Its not too bad though, I normally poke her at just the right time she and she drops it so I don't miss out.

Berry

Does my bum look big in this?

2007-08-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

I don't believe it, Acorn's used up all the water again! Always preening herself that one!

My name's Berry by the way. Don't you go listening to Acorn, I expect she's told you all sorts of rubbish about me, all you need to know is that I'm the boss!

'Who's Emma?' I hear you say. Oh, she's just our teenage pet but she's much too shy to appear on our blog like most girls of her age! If you like we'll try to catch her on camera when she's not looking. You'll just have to be patient....

Berry

Welcome to our blog.

2007-08-18T11:23:00.000-07:00

Let me introduce myself. My name is Acorn. I'm the first born (that's why my name begins with an "A"), my sister Berry was the second born - you'll meet her soon, but she's busy eating at the moment!

You can tell us apart because I am the pretty one, with the lovely big velvety ears. She's the big fat one because she's always pinching my dinner!

Most of the time we get on really well, but sometimes it's just nice to soak in the bath by myself. Have you ever tried a mud pack? They're great! And here the mud is thicker and more squelchy than anywhere else.

Must go now to scratch my back on a post. Please come and see me again soon.

Acorn